He's in Denial
by Color With Marker
Summary: AU high school fic. Angel and Collins swear they're just friends. But is there something more? Based on a real life story.
1. Chapter 1

_**(A/N: I feel like I should explain this a little bit so I am. Among my friends, there is the perfect Cangel couple, although neither of them appreciate how much we tease them about it. So, of course, it gave me the idea to do this. Most of what'll happen are based off of my two friends, but I'll try to keep it so the characters are how Jonathan Larson made them to be. Enjoy!)**_

* * *

Tom Collins looked around the music room uneasily. He'd seen the table for the Friends Support group, also known as "the gay club" by others, mainly because most of the students there happened to struggle with their sexuality. And that was exactly why he was here: he was gay. Not yet out of the closet, but he wasn't confused about it anymore. His friends would grow suspicious if they knew he came here. He wasn't too sure how Roger would react, and he knew that Mark would be accepting, as he always was, but it was his best friend, Benny, wasn't going to be accepting. All around the room were very different students. He only recognized one girl, Maureen Johnson, one of the several girls in his chemistry class. She was hugging and trying to kiss a blonde girl, who uneasily pushed her away. Maureen gave up quickly and spotted Collins. She squealed and ran up to him.

"Ah, Collins!" she cried. Collins grunted when her arms were thrown around him as she practically jumped on him.

"Um, hi, Maureen," he replied, hugging her back. It wasn't that he hated hugs, but he hadn't spoken more than twenty words to this girl all year, and it was the beginning of the fourth semester.

"I didn't know you were, well, you know..." She grinned and elbowed his gut.

"Thanks, but I'm just here out of curiosity," he said. "This club seems interesting, you know?"

"Oh, it's definitely interesting!" Maureen jumped a bit, always a hyper person. "Make sure you check in with the secretary."

"Who?"

"Only, like, the cutest guy ever!" Maureen cackled. "Angel's right down there." She pointed to the center of the room at a caramel-toned boy jotting down something in a notebook as the blonde girl talked to him. Collins nodded and walked down the stairs to the center of the room. He waited patiently as Angel finished writing and turned around.

"Oh!" he gasped. He put a hand to his chest. "Damn, you scared me!"

"Sorry," Collins apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to. I'm just, I'm new to this, and..."

"Honey, don't worry about it." Angel let out a tiny giggle. "What's your name?"

"Huh?"

"Your name." He held up his notebook. "I'm the secretary. I need to get the names of everyone who comes."

"Oh, right! I'm Tom... Collins." Collins blushed. Angel giggled again and wrote down his name.

"Collins," he said. "I'm Angel." He held out his hand and smiled. Collins shook it back, lost in Angel's deep brown eyes.

"An angel indeed," he said without thinking. He blushed again. _Oh my God, I did not just say that..._ he thought, panic filling his mind.

"You're cute when you blush," Angel teased. He pulled his hand away to poke Collins on the nose and wink. He then turned around and wrote the name of another member who just showed up.

"Kirsten, come on!" Maureen whined to the blonde. "I didn't mean anything by that!"

"You want to bring another date to the dance?" Kirsten snapped.

"You said you were okay with it!"

"On what planet should anyone be okay with their date bringing someone else!"

"The planet with Mormons?"

"I'm not talking to you today." Kirsten stood up and crossed the room. Maureen groaned and plopped down on a chair. Collins, not knowing what to do since he didn't know anyone else, sat down next to her.

"Girlfriend?" he asked.

"Yep," Maureen replied.

"Problems with her?"

"She's mad at me because I felt bad for this one guy who got rejected at lunch and I asked him to be my date for the upcoming Underclassmen Formal. I was just trying to be nice!"

"Wait a minute... does your date happen to be Mark Cohen?" Collins remembered watching Mark ask out a girl only to be flat-out rejected. He kind of felt bad for the little nerd, only because Benny and Roger both scored dates already, while Collins didn't plan on going at all.

"Yeah, you know him?" Maureen asked.

"He's one of my best friends. I didn't know you have lunch sixth period."

"We have the same lunch? That's great!" Maureen turned her chair around so she was sitting in it backwards, not caring that she happened to be wearing a skirt. "I've been sitting around the jocks, and all they do is talk about girls. I mean, I'm fine with talking about girls too, but there's no one to talk about guys with!"

"Uh huh." Collins wasn't going to come out to Maureen first of all people. He just nodded along with whatever Maureen continued to ramble about.

"Chica, your... everything is showing," Angel told the eccentric girl, trying his hardest to not look down.

"I know," Maureen said.

"Well, some guys, like me, don't want to see what's under it."

"Ang, what do ou want me to do about it?"

"Close your legs, Mo."

"_Fine_." Maureen turned her chair back around and sat cross-legged. "Better?"

"It would be if your tits weren't out in the open," Angel teased. Maureen pulled down the top of her already-revealing shirt, her bright pink bra now showing.

"Take me for what I am, baby," she said with a shrug.

"Guys, can we start this meeting?" the teacher, Mr. London, announced. Angel sat down next to Collins, and a Latina in a tiny dress sat beside him. Kirsten quietly made her way back across the room and took her seat again next to Maureen. Said diva propped her legs on her girlfriend's lap. A few small groups of other students were spread out across the other side of the room.

"First, I would like to welcome any new students," he started. "It's great to see new faces. Now, I'd like to explain how our club works. We are here to help out anybody who has any problems in the real world, such as family or relationship. I know that the stereotype is that this is a group designated for only non-straight students. Although a vast majority of gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgender students - and any others I may have forgotten as well - make up this group, I assure you that we have a higher purpose than that. We're here to let you know that no matter what happens in the world, there are people who can help you. No one left out, not a person we can't help. We live by a motto here: No day but today. I want you all to take those four words to heart and make sure to use them in your daily life, because there truly is no day but today..."

Collins listened to every word Mr. London, or Paul, as he told everyone to call him, said and kept on repeating them in his mind, especially "No day but today." He didn't speak up, but he listened to stories told by others. One girl whose parents expected nothing less of her than to become a lawyer, graduate from Harvard, and even marry the right boy, despite the fact that they knew she was a lesbian. A boy shared how he had to drag his sister home from a very wild party and clean her up before their parents found out, then was blamed when they found out what happened the following morning. Kirsten and Maureen broke out into another fight, ending with Kirsten storming across the room again. Then Angel stood up, ready to share his own story.

"My mother is trying too hard to convince herself that I'm still straight," he began. "It has gone too far at some points. She's tried to set me up with Maureen and Mimi."

"For the record, it would've worked out between us," Maureen interrupted. Angel reached across Collins to smack her shoulder lightly.

"Anyway," he continued, "I sat her down the other day and asked why she continued trying to make me straight when she knew that I wasn't. She said, '_¿Por qué no puedes entender que esto es sólo una fase? Hijo, esto va a pasar y que entienda que usted es realmente recta._'" Angel paused to take a breath. "Sorry, when my mother gets upset, she starts speaking in Spanish. In a nutshell, she believes that I'm going through a phase and I just don't realize it yet. I want to make her understand that I am who I am. I just... I don't know how." Angel sat back down and wiped away his tears. He put a fake smile on his face as the next person, Ali, talked.

He felt a hand take his own. He looked down to see Collins' hand, his thumb rubbing the back of his own. Angel smiled at the gesture; it was nice to have a friend who understood.

* * *

"Chica, I'm telling you, that boy isn't straight," Angel insisted as he pushed aside a pile of shoes in his closet.

"What makes you the expert?" Mimi asked as she bounced on the bed. Angel turned around, hands on hip with a frown.

"Honey, there isn't one person who hasn't messed up my gaydar yet," he said. "How dare you accuse me of being wrong."

"I know, Ang, you're good at guessing sexualities. But that doesn't mean every guy who joins Friends Support is automatically gay."

"Not all of them. There's, like, three who aren't."

"So what makes you so sure that this one is?" Mimi gasped. "Oh my God, you have a crush on him!"

"What? No I don't!" Angel picked up a shirt that had fallen down and put it back on an empty hanger. "He just understands. He knows how hard it is, I guess."

"Chica, don't you fool me, I saw you two holding hands during the meeting. Now spill."

"There's nothing to spill, Meems. He's a confused guy, and he's probably looking for a friend who can help him get through all of the shit that you get for being gay." Angel finally unearthed what he was searching for - a trunk. He opened it up to reveal his most prized possessions. Dresses, skirts, colorful and silky tops, a couple of wigs, pouches of makeup and accessories, and a pile of platform shoes tucked in underneath it all. It was what made Angel, well, Angel. And only Mimi knew his secret.

"What's on your mind?" she asked when Angel didn't immediately try on an outfit.

"I feel so..." Angel shook his head and shut the trunk. "Why is it that I can't be comfortable in my own skin? I can't be what I want because society frowns upon me. It's just not fair."

"Life's not fair," Mimi said, kicking the carpet. Angel shut his closet and looked at his best friend. He recognized the look in her eye instantly.

"What did Benny do now?" he asked.

"I don't trust that Alison Grey," Mimi said. "I know that they're lab partners, but I don't think they need to work together as much as Maureen says they are. What if he really is cheating on me?"

"He better not," Angel said. He sat down on the bed and hugged Mimi. "He's not worth it. Besides, I'll take my platforms and shove them down his throat if he is."

Mimi giggled and the two friends fell back on the bed. The door opened and footsteps could be heard ascending the stairs. They both shot up to see Angel's mother standing there.

"Oh, hello, Mimi," she greeted. "I didn't know you were over. I didn't mean to interrupt you and Angel."

"_Mamá!_" Angel whined.

"Sorry, _hijo_," his mother apologized again, although she seemed rather thrilled to see Angel and Mimi together on her son's bed. She left the room after winking at the teenagers.

"Wow, your mom is really..." Mimi began.

"...Yeah," Angel finished.

* * *

"Ugh," Maureen groaned as she plopped down to Collins in chemistry the next morning. "Isn't it _so_ unfair that everything works out in Alison's favor just because her dad happens to be the damn teacher?"

"Uh, sure?" Collins replied. The students were rearranged so that Benny and Alison were sitting together. Yesterday, Collins and Benny were lab partners. Now, he had the luck of being stuck next to Maureen. He turned to see Roger sitting in the back of the next row with Mark. Of course they were sitting together; the two were nearly inseparable. He could see the lovesick look in Mark's eyes when he glanced at Maureen. He knew that Mark will talk about her all day.

"So, I didn't know that you, you know, were gay or anything," Maureen said. Collins' eyes widened.

"What?" he asked.

"Yeah, you're totally gay, right? I mean, I saw you holding Angel's hand during the Friends Support meeting. Do you have a thing for him? Oh my God, you totally have a thing for him!"

"Maureen, quiet down, would you?" Collins hissed. "I'm not gay! Just because I went to Friends Support doesn't mean I'm gay."

"Collins, don't lie to me. I know you are."

Collins groaned. He had a hunch Maureen wouldn't let this go. "Okay, maybe I am questioning my sexuality a bit," he confessed. "_However_..." He put his hand over Maureen's mouth before she said anything else. "...That doesn't mean that I'm dating Angel. Just because he's gay and I... might be too doesn't mean that we're together."

Maureen pushed Collins' hand away. "Sure," she said. "I'll believe that... for now." She grinned and pulled out her lab notebook. Collins shook his head and pulled out his own as well.


	2. Chapter 2

The beginning of the next day seemed like a normal day to Maureen. She took the school bus, gossiped with her theater friends, and then sang show tunes all the way to school, much to her peers' usual annoyance. Then she danced around the parking lot with friends and performed a number from one of the shows she'd done during her high school career - this morning, the diva led her troupe through "Cell Block Tango" from _Chicago_, a classic favorite from what they had performed last December. When the first bell rang, she went to her first period class and slid up to Collins, a goofy grin on her face. She had now dubbed him her new GBF (gay best friend), much to his annoyance. At least this morning she'd held off mentioning Angel's name until near the end of the double-period class. In choir, she'd nailed her audition for the solo in the end-of-the-year concert, snatching it out from underneath Joanne without a pint of guilt in her. The rest of her day was the same: sleeping through US History, volunteering to play every improv game the theater teacher threw her way, performing again in lunch (this time "Summer Nights" from one of her favorite movies, _Grease_), gossiping during both Algebra II and English II, then standing in the back of the volleyball court during Gym so she wouldn't have to participate. After the final bell rang, Maureen walked to her locker to retrieve her choir book to find four red roses taped to her locker. She raised an eyebrow and pulled one off. She inhaled the lovely scent and smiled. She started wondering who her secret admirer was (of course she had _so_ many) before someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around to see Mark blushing and meekly making eye contact with the floor.

"I hope you like them," he said quietly. "It's sort of a thanks for, you know, wanting to actually go with me to the Underclassmen Formal."

"You bought these for me?" Maureen gasped.

"Yeah, I did." The blonde nodded, still refusing to look up.

"Aw, not even Kirsten bought me roses before!" Maureen threw her arms around Mark and kissed his cheek, leaving a red stain on his pale cheek. "Thank you so much, Marky!"

"It was nothing," Mark replied. He hugged Maureen, taking advantage of the contact he was having with her. When she pulled away, she pulled off the other three roses.

"Gosh, you and your friends are just all the best guys ever!" Maureen gushed.

"Huh?" Mark was confused.

"Well, that Benny kid is kind of an asshole in Gym when he tries to pretend he's better than everyone, but he never lets me get hit in the face with the volleyball!"

"I guess that makes him an okay guy..."

"Oh, and Roger isn't too bad either. He lets me copy off of him during tests!"

"Technically, _he_ copies off of _me_ before you copy off of him..."

"Oh, and Collins, too! When he came to Friends Support the other day, I was surprised, don't get me wrong, but he just fit in right away. He and Angel hit it off so well!"

It took Mark a few seconds to take in what the diva had said. "Friends Support?"

"Yeah, you know, the club where everyone helps each other?" Maureen hadn't really noticed the significance behind Mark's facial expression. "Maybe you should come to the next meeting! It's not like every guy in it's gay... I think." The drama queen shrugged and waved goodbye before leaving behind a stunned Mark.

"Hey, Mark," Roger greeted him as he walked up, slapping his friend on the shoulder and knocking him back into reality. "Did Maureen like those roses?" He studied Mark a little more closely. "Oh, wait, did she laugh in your face. Man, I warned you that she'd do that."

"No, that's not it at all," Mark responded. "She loved them so much that she kissed me." He turned his face to the side and pointed to the lipstick stain to prove it.

"Way to go, Mark!" Roger slapped Mark's back again, causing the younger boy's glasses to nearly fly off his head. "Then why the hell are you frowning? That's the most action you've gotten since Nanette Himmelfarb tried to shove her tongue in your mouth during your Bar Mitzvah."

Mark shuddered at the memory before explaining, "It was something Maureen told me, but thanks for the reminder, asshole."

"What'd she say? Did she reject you anyway? No, wait, she said that she actually wanted you!"

"You prick, it had nothing to do with you or me! It was something about Collins!"

"Collins?" the rocker snorted. "Please, she's his new lab partner for three days and she's already his best friend all of a sudden? What, she knows that he's got some secret double life or something that only she knows of?"

"Well, there's definitely a secret of some sort," Mark admitted.

Roger raised an eyebrow. "What secret?"

His best friend cleared his throat. "Well, did you know that Collins joined Friends Support?"

Roger stared at him a little while longer before laughing uncontrollably. "Oh my God, Mark, you can't be serious! Collins isn't gay!"

"Maureen said that not every guy in that group is gay," Mark defended.

"Name one straight guy in it."

Mark had nothing.

"Look, I have Concert Rock," Roger said. "I'll call you later, but I'm telling you, Collins wasn't at that meeting." He turned and walked away.

"But what if he is?" Mark asked himself quietly.

* * *

"Come on, Mr. Larson, that ain't fair!" Allen cried to the Concert Rock instructor. "I've worked my ass off since my freshmen year here! He's only a sophomore, and I'm a senior, dammit!"

"Sorry, Allen, but Angel has proved to be much more capable of playing Kashmir than you," Mr. Larson told him calmly. "Besides, your grades aren't up, and you know the rules. My ass is on the line if I don't let you go. Again, I'm sorry, but I think you should go, Allen."

Allen groaned and stormed out of the music room, but not before purposefully bumping into Angel and grunting, "Fairy."

"Honey, don't get jealous!" Angel called at the angry senior. "Green is so not your color!" The bass player snorted as he tuned his instrument. Roger, who was absentmindedly strumming chords as usual, jumped when the door slammed shut.

"Hey, where the hell did Allen go?" he asked.

"Allen got his ass kicked out," Angel answered. "He's just pissed because I'm better at the drums than him."

"Amen to that!" one of the other guitar players called out.

"Wait, so he's gone?" Roger asked. "Shit!" Allen was Roger's only friend in Concert Rock. The club was fairly small to begin with. It consisted of himself and Liam at guitar, Charlie with his bass, John at the keyboard, and (now only) Angel on the drums.

"Trust me, that asshole deserved it," Liam said.

"But he was our vocalist, too!" The other boys in the room slowly realized that, each one slapping their own foreheads with open palms.

"Well then, we'll need to find a new one, sugar," Angel said with a shrug.

"Don't call me 'sugar'," Roger muttered as he played another song.

"Hey, hey, hey," Mr. Larson said as he emerged from his office, "I know you guys think this is the end of the world for us, but I'd planned on eighty-sixing Allen for a couple of weeks now. It was bound to happen sooner or later. So, I recruited a kid. I don't really know him well, but one of my theater students suggested him to me and said he's a really deep baritone. Maybe we can throw in a few blues songs with our upcoming performance now." The door opened and Mr. Larson smiled. "There he is."

In the back of the room, Collins was the center of attention for everyone.

"Collins?" Roger asked.

"Collins!" Angel squealed. "I didn't know you could sing!"

"Uh, yeah, a bit, I guess." Collins rubbed the back of his neck and slowly made his way to the front of the room. "This is Concert Rock, right?"

"Sure is," Mr. Larson said. He handed the newcomer a packet. "Here's the music and lyrics. I'm sure you know the song, but if not, then it won't take too long to catch up." He stood up and clapped his hands. "Come on, lazy asses, grab your instruments. Lets get started." The boys nodded and took their places. Angel grabbed his drumsticks from his bookbag and sat down by the drumset. Roger connected his guitar to the amp and played a few notes. Charlie and Liam did the same while John did some scales. "Angel, give us a beat," Mr. Larson instructed. "Collins, come in, well, you'll know when. You can read music, right?" Collins nodded. "Good, then you should be fine." Mr. Larson nodded at Angel, who tapped the snare four times before banging the drums with the opening of the song. The other musicians joined in with their instruments. Collins nodded in time with the beat before singing the first verse:

"_Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dreams  
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been  
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen  
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed_

_Talk and songs from tongue of lithing grace, whose sounds caress my ears  
But not a word I heard could relate, the story was quite clear..._"

Everyone in the room was impressed. No one would even guess just by looking at Collins that he had an amazing voice. It was edgy yet soothing at the same time. Even Roger was taken aback. By the end of the song, everyone was still in shock.

"_...Let me take you there. Let me take you there._"

At the end, Collins looked around the room nervously. "W-was I good?"

"Good is an understatement," Charlie answered. "That was fucking awesome!"

"Where the hell have you been all these years?" John cried.

"Jesus, fuck, Collins, why didn't you tell me that you had the voice of God?!" Roger exclaimed.

"Boys, settle down," Mr. Larson ordered. He waited for the three to quiet down before saying, "I don't know if you realize this, but you have a gift right here. That voice of yours is..." The teacher shook his head and chuckled. "I think I've got a few songs that you guys can perform now. I've been waiting for the perfect baritone for this..." Mr. Larson shot out of his seat and rushed into his office. Charlie and Liam began arguing, as brothers usually do, while John was quickly thrown into the middle. Roger played a song he'd written long ago. Collins didn't know what to do, so he stood up and relocated himself next to Angel, who was twirling his drumsticks with his fingers in a daze.

"You're pretty good on the drums," Collins told him. Angel nodded in response.

"Says the boy with the golden vocal chords," he teased. "I mean, no offense to any of the baritones in choir, but holy shit boy, that was the most beautiful singing voice I've ever heard!"

Collins laughed. "Thanks. When Mo told me about this the other day, I didn't know what the hell she was getting me in to."

"Well, whenever I see the crazy chica again, I'm gonna have to thank her." The two boys laughed, and Angel's hand rested on Collins' knee. "I'm glad you're here."

The anarchist smiled. "I am too."

Out of the corner of his eye, Roger watched Angel and Collins. His breath hitched when they touched. He didn't want to believe what Mark had said. No way in hell Mark was right about this. Collins couldn't be gay, he just couldn't be...

* * *

"Angel, you're home!" Angel's older sister, Nicoletta, squealed as she ran down the stairs into her brother's arms. Angel spun her around and laughed. Since Nicoletta (or Nicole, as everybody but the rest of their family called her) started attending university, he seldom saw her. They used to be attached to the hip; where one would go, the other would tag along. They never fought, they always stayed up till the sun rose on weekends talking on the phone about anything that came to mind, and they were sisters (siblings, to others who didn't know Angel). Angel loved his sister more than even his own mother and Mimi.

"Chica, I've missed you!" he cried. "How long are you home?"

"Just tonight," Nicole told him. "However, I'm going out tonight to some bar, and I made you a present while at school." She reached into her pockets and produced three fake IDs, making the nineteen- and seventeen-year-olds allegedly twenty-five and twenty-one, even making an extra for in case Angel went by his drag name - Angel Dumott Schunard. His birth name, Angelo Santiago, was rarely used by his sister or friends. Angel grinned and snatched his up.

"Thank God I don't have homework!" he exclaimed with glee. "I'll throw an outfit into a bag and we'll head out!"

"Oh, honey, don't think I'm not gonna help you pick out something sexy!" The two giggled and raced up the stairs to Angel's bedroom on the third floor, a renovated attic. They searched through Angel's chest until they pulled out a pink blouse, white skirt, pink stockings, black platform shoes, and Angel's favorite black wig. They threw it in a bag and were almost out the front door when it slammed open, revealing their drunk father.

"Nicoletta?" he asked, his Spanish accent strong. "When'd you get here?"

"I was here when you left an hour ago, Papá," Nicole answered calmly.

"Oh." The man lazily looked up at his son, who prayed that the bag on his shoulder would stay unmentioned. "Where the hell do you think you're going, Angelo?"

Angel cringed at the sound of his name. "I was gonna hang out with Nicoletta. I won't be able to see her for another week at the least, so we wanted to spend the night together."

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Yes, Papá."

"Boy, did you just roll your eyes at me?" A beer bottle was pointed in his direction. Angel refrained from repeating his mistake. "Son, I don't need you disrespecting me in my goddamn house!"

"Papá, calm down," Nicole pleaded. "There's a game on soon, I think. Maybe you can catch the beginning of it?" Nicole knew that if any type of fight broke out between her father and brother, Angel was much weaker and would be hurt easily. Besides, her father loved sports too much to miss a game.

To their luck, the older man grunted. "Thanks for reminding me, sweetie. Make sure you two don't get into any trouble." With that, he padded, with a slight wobble in his step, into the family room, forgetting about his two children long enough for the two of them to slip out the front door.

* * *

"What?!" Roger gasped. "You're fucking kidding me!"

"Sh!" Mark hissed. "Will you be quiet!" The boys looked back warily at Angel, who was talking to Mimi far enough away from them. "I'm telling you, that Angel kid is a drag queen."

"You're shitting me."

Mark looked around before reaching into the front pocket of his bookbag and pulling out a Polaroid picture. "Cindy and I were at the 7-Eleven and I saw him there." Roger looked at the picture and saw two girls laughing by the front window. Both looked a bit like Angel, but one had the exact same body shape as the boy.

"Damn," the rocker said. "If you didn't tell me that she was a... he, then I'd be jacking off to this."

"Ew, Roger, that's sick!" Mark snatched the picture back and put it away.

"I think he likes Collins," Roger added.

"What?"

"I saw them talking at Concert Rock yesterday, and-"

"Since when does Collins do Concert Rock?"

"Since apparently Maureen made him. Anyway, they were talking, and Angel had his hand on Collins' leg. Trust me, it seemed a bit more than friendly. And Collins didn't even do anything to stop it either!"

"So what, are we gonna pretend like it's nothing?" Mark asked. "I mean, I don't have a problem with Collins being gay, but I'm a little hurt that he didn't tell us."

"Same here," Roger said. "But I'd be more worried about his best friend's reaction." When Mark cocked his head to the side in confusion, Roger punched his chest lightly and said, "Benny, genius!"

"Oh," Mark said, before it dawned on him. "_Oh!_ Um, uh-oh. That won't be good."


	3. Chapter 3

Mimi stood in the front of her side of the court during volleyball. Behind her, Angel was standing around, waiting patiently while the ball made its way toward him. To her left, Maureen paid more attention to her nails, which were now pink as of Theater class since they had a substitute teacher. On the other side of the court, in the back row of teens, Benny and Alison were flirting - _again_. Mimi could feel her blood boiling. Didn't that Muffy know that Benny was her boyfriend? No way in hell was she letting that tramp make any moves on her man. Fortunately, the ball flew at Alison, who squealed and dodged it. Not only did Mimi now get the ball to serve, but she had a plan to get back at the Muffy. She moved to the back corner and Angel tossed her the ball.

"Chica, what're you planning?" he asked.

Mimi faked a smile, even though Angel could easily see the deceiving look. "I don't know what you're talking about." Mimi tossed the ball in the air and smacked it hard.

Seconds later, Alison had blood gushing out of her nose.

"Oh my gosh, she hit me!" the blonde wailed. A few girls gathered around her and shouted at Mimi for hurting their friend. The Latina tried to put on an innocent face, although Angel's snorting didn't really help. A gym teacher came by and reminded Alison that if she didn't pay attention, accidents happen, and then escorted her to the nurse. Benny stormed up to his girlfriend.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Mimi replied.

"You just hit Alison in the face! She didn't do anything to you!"

"It's not what she did to me, it's what she's been doing to _you_."

"Huh?"

Mimi ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. "She keeps on flirting with you. She's always flipping her hair or touching you or getting too close. And she knows we're together! Why aren't you doing anything about it!"

"Mimi, are you even listening to yourself?" Benny cried. "We're not flirting. There's no reason you should even be worrying. Me and Alison, that'll never happen! You're freaking yourself out." Benny kissed Mimi and held her hands. "I love you too much."

She melted at his words. "I love you too."

"Well, I'm gonna see if Alison's friends are gonna kill you." Benny waved goodbye as he walked off. Seconds later, Maureen bounced up to Mimi laughing.

"I can't believe you hit Muffy in the face!" she cackled. "I love you!"

"I knew you were up to something," Angel said to his best friend. "I could see it in your eyes. Chica, you're too bloodthirsty to attack that girl."

"Can you blame me?" Mimi asked. "She's always on Benny! It's like she wants to be his conjoined twin of something."

"Um, what if Alison wasn't the real problem?" Maureen asked. When the other two gave her questioning looks, she pointed to Benny, who was now talking with April Ericsson. It seemed harmless, until April wrapped her arms around Benny.

"That's really friendly," Angel murmured.

"She used to date Roger," Maureen said. "She's, like, mentally messed up or some shit."

"So Muffy's not the problem. Chica, your man's a whore."

* * *

Friends Support made Collins realize that opening up to others was now a possibility for him. He was used to just keeping things bottled up inside, hiding secrets from Mark and Roger, and at some points, even Benny too. This was a group of kids who were all broken inside, needing some sort of outlet. Mr. London was sort of like their own messiah, showing them that together they're stronger than others expect them to be. Collins felt like the outsider of the group, only because he was the quiet one. He'd seen others stand up and cry as they told their tales. Of course, there were the less-than-emotional moments when Maureen and Kirsten started their routine of fighting and making up withing ten minutes. But to Collins, it was exactly where he wanted to be.

"And it's not like I want to stop being an overachiever," Joanne Jefferson said. She wrung her hands as she talked, her nervousness very apparent. "But my parents have already chosen my future for me. I'm supposed to be a lawyer, just like the rest of my family. I have to date only the boys they approve of. They know I'm a lesbian, and that's why they pulled me from my dance studio. I just... I just don't know what to do anymore." She sat down and stared at her feet while the others had sympathetic looks for the struggling girl.

"Thank you, Joanne," Mr. London told her. "You're one of the braver students here, without a doubt. I know that you'll follow your heart and do what you want in life, and whatever it is you choose to do, you'll be great at it." He looked up and smiled. "Hello."

"Um, hi," Mark greeted.

"'Sup," Roger grunted.

Collins whirled around. What the hell were they doing here? Of all people, they would be the last he'd ever expect to show up at a Friends Support meeting.

"We were curious about this group, so we decided to come to a meeting," Mark explained. "So, do we sit anywhere?"

"Sure," Mr. London said. "Pick any seat." The two boys chose to sit behind Collins, who was blushing heavily.

"Are you okay?" Angel whispered to him as another kid shared his story.

"How the hell did they know about this?" Collins hissed. "They wouldn't have come here if they didn't know _I_ came here."

"Well, honey, why are _you_ here?"

Collins was silent. He didn't know what to tell Angel. Deep inside, he trusted Angel. He wanted to tell Angel the truth. He was gay and needed to find a way to come out. However, behind him sat his two friends, who he was almost certain were staring at him. "I don't know yet," he lied. "I'll figure out soon enough."

Angel nodded and looked back at Mark and Roger. The drag queen was no idiot; he knew what Collins had meant. He was hiding something, and his best friends weren't supposed to know. Rather than put his hand on Collins' leg or hold his hand, something he did whenever one of his friends was feeling down, he sat still and listened to the speaker quietly.

* * *

"Done!" Joanne cried as she finally finished writing her report on the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand for Advanced US History. She set it aside with her pile of finished work before crossing it off on her agenda. She the groaned when she saw that there was still three other assignments left to do. It was near the end of the year, but her teachers hadn't let up on her yet. They were "preparing her for college" even though she still had another year of school left. All she wanted was five seconds of free time to enjoy herself. Like that'd ever happen.

"Joanne, lights out in twenty minutes," her mother said through the door.

"Mom," Joanne whined, "I'm not even close to being done my homework yet!"

"Well you need to get some rest!"

"I have thirty math problems, a pre-lab to fill out, _and_ response questions for the novel we're reading in English."

"Then I hope you can do that all in twenty minutes."

Joanne groaned and stared at her pile of work. She would have to copy the odd answers out of the back of the math textbook and cut her time on that in half. Then she could write her pre-lab and just do the response questions during the school day, perhaps during lunch. Wait, the upcoming choir concert! She needed to practice the songs. How could she fit that in? Joanne just shoved her textbooks onto the floor and cried on her desk. The pressure was too much. She didn't want to take all advanced classes and be stuck doing seven assignments every night. It was her parents that made her do these things. She had to take advantage of these opportunities, according to them. Does she want someone else who doesn't deserve it to snag valedictorian? In the back of her mind, Joanne prayed that someone would.

She finally calmed herself down and picked up her books papers. She paused only to pull out a letter in her desk drawer. It was from the French Ambassador's daughter, who was her secret pen pal. They continued to talk, although Joanne's parents basically forbade the two from having contact again. But she couldn't say goodbye. Not to her. She reminded Joanne that not everything in life was total shit, and that there was always her to fall back on.

Joanne put the letter away before opening her math book to the back to copy the answers.

* * *

"Why the hell is Pre Calc so damn hard?" Roger groaned as he walked down the halls. "I mean, how many letters of the alphabet to we really need in math?"

"Roger, it's not the class, it's just you," Collins teased. "After all, _you're_ the one who was held back a year."

"It's not my fault I got suspended. That teacher had it out for me."

"We were in fourth grade and you always threatened to stab her with your pencil."

"Well, still, that doesn't change that Pre Calc is hard."

"If you wouldn't have been held back, you would've never met me," Mark pointed out.

Roger rolled his eyes. "Number one regret." Mark punched his shoulder and then held his hand, wincing.

"Aw, aren't you two precious," Benny teased as he joined the trio. "I swear, you two are like a sitcom."

"That'd be interesting," Roger pondered. "It'd be me and Mark living together in a New York City apartment. And by the second episode, one of us would've killed the other."

"Wait, what?" Mark cried.

"Don't worry, Mark, I'm betting that you'd be the one to kill him," Collins said.

"What?!" Roger exclaimed.

"Me too," Benny added. "I feel like that you'd push the little nerd over the edge and he'd end up shoving you into traffic or off of a fire escape or something."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." The boys went into the locker room to see one of the teachers was giving out new locker assignments. Mark, Roger, and Collins were all near each other, but Benny wasn't because he had a different teacher.

"I hate coming back to Gym from Health," Roger groaned.

"Same," the other two echoed. They went to their lockers and tried out their new combinations.

"Thank _God_ we don't have volleyball anymore!" a high-pitched chirp rang. "I swear, Mimi was going to hospitalize Alison Grey yesterday." Collins turned to see Angel and one of the kids from Friends Support walking over to where he was.

"_Shit!_" he hissed. This wasn't going to go over well.

"Is that Angel?" Mark asked.

"I guess," Collins replied, trying to play it cool.

"Tey, you didn't see how bad it was," Angel continued, not noticing the three boys staring at him. "I heard she has a concussion now."

"Really?" Tey gasped.

"Really."

"Well, _I_ heard she refuses to come to school now because she doesn't want anyone to see the stitches on her nose."

"The Muffy would." Angel giggled and pulled out his gym shorts and t-shirt. He pulled off his school shirt and folded it. When he turned to open his locker, he accidentally bumped into Collins. "Oh, sorry, honey!"

"Um, it's okay," Collins said. The older teen had to try not to ogle the shirtless boy in front of him. "I didn't know you had Gym ninth period."

"Yep," Angel replied. Both boys quickly turned their backs and avoided looking at each other.

"What was that about?" Roger asked.

"Nothing," Collins muttered as he slammed his locker shut. He walked out with his friends. Once they did, Tey grabbed Angel and shook him violently.

"Ow!" the drag queen winced. "I think you just snapped my neck in half."

"He's that guy who joined Friends Support last week!" Tey squealed. "I knew it! I so knew it!"

"Uh, what are you talking about?"

"I saw the way he looked at you. He's so into you!"

"God, you sound like Mimi. Not every guy in Friends Support is gay."

Tey raised an eyebrow. "We used to be the only guys in it this year, and you know that we're about as gay as they come in Scarsdale."

"So?" Angel slid on his shorts. "That doesn't mean Collins is."

"Is that denial I hear?"

"What? No!"

"You like him!"

"No I don't!"

"Hey, I won't tell!" Tey held his hands up in defeat. "If you like him, I'll keep it a secret. But you can't deny it. It's really obvious."

Angel shook his head and walked out of the locker room with his friend at his side. "I swear, you and Meems are the same damn person sometimes."


	4. Chapter 4

"Only three more weeks!" Maureen exclaimed as she skipped down the hall.

"Uh huh," Kirsten mumbled absently. She was already fed up with Maureen today, and it was only fourth period. As much as she wanted to love her girlfriend, it was hard to when said girlfriend was Maureen Johnson.

"I can't wait! We'll be the best group there!"

Kirsten frowned. "Group?"

"Yeah, remember, silly?" Maureen giggled. "You, me, and Marky! Ooh, I wonder if we can get a picture of the three of us! I'll stand in the middle with you on one side of me and Mark on the other, and you're both holding onto one of my arms, and everyone's gonna be jealous!"

"Because you scored two dates?"

"No, Pookie, because you're date happens to be me!"

Kirsten cringed. It was rare to be called Pookie by Maureen, but when she used the pet name, it was a sign that she was withdrawn from her girlfriend. Pookie was the one thing she didn't want to hear out of Maureen's mouth. Last time she was called Pookie, Maureen was caught hitting on the foreign exchange student from Europe. Three days ago.

"Are we really going to start this again?" Kirsten moaned.

"Huh?" Maureen asked.

"Look Maureen, you know that I love you, but it's just... so _hard_ being with you. You're always flirting, hugging, or kissing anything that you haven't laid a finger on within the past week or two."

"What?"

"And I'm sick of it! So you can't take Mark to the Underclassmen Formal," Kirsten demanded.

"Excuse me, who the hell do you think you are?" Maureen spat.

"Your girlfriend."

"Well, that's too bad, 'cause I'm still taking Mark."

"Then we're not going together."

"Pookie, we're still going together too!"

Another cringe. "Well, I'm putting my foot down. You have to decide." Kirsten crossed her arms and blocked Maureen's path so she couldn't escape. "It's either him or me. Choose wisely." When Maureen didn't respond and started weighing her options, Kirsten threw her hands in the air and stormed away.

* * *

"The nerve!" Maureen cried. "The fucking nerve!"

"I can't believe it either," Mimi replied as Angel painted her nails blue.

"She wanted me to pick between her and Mark. And before I could give her an answer, she just walks off like I'm not there! Like, are you fucking kidding me?" Maureen didn't notice the look the theater teacher shot at her for using foul language. By now, the instructor expected this from the diva.

"So did you decide, chica?" Angel asked.

"No! I'm taking both of them still, duh!" Maureen plopped down in her chair and rolled her eyes. "Why does no one else understand me?"

Angel and Mimi knew better than to attempt reasoning with her.

"Hey, look who's making her comeback," Angel sneered. The girls looked to see Alison walk in the room, her nose still bruised, now sporting a new scar and still turned to the side a bit from the angle it hit her. With one quick glare at Mimi, the blonde opted to sit in the front of the room on the opposite side from where her enemies were seated.

"I saw her in Chemistry this morning. I saw Benny start basically mothering and coddling in homeroom so I went over and started asking how the plastic surgery went. She tried covering it up and saying that I had no idea what I was talking about when _obviously_ she has the scar from it in plain sight," Maureen babbled. "I'll bet she called Dr. Drew."

"The guy from _Loveline_ on the radio?" Mimi asked.

"Oh, well, you know what I mean."

"Alright class, listen up!" the theater teacher announced. After a handful of students obnoxiously hissing _shhh!_ at their neighbors, they were quiet enough for the teacher to hear herself. "We're going to start a new project. I've chosen groups of four for you, and within your group, you'll choose a scene from a movie to perform for the class for a test grade." The trio tuned out the teacher and went back to doing what they were doing until their names were called out. "... Angelo Santiago, Maureen Johnson, Mikayla Marquez, and Alison Grey, you will be group four..."

"Did she just say that we're with Muffy?" Maureen hissed.

"Fuck," Mimi groaned. Soon, Alison saw down in front of the group and scowled at them.

"Are we gonna recreate any scenes that involve me getting killed?" she asked monotonously.

"I was thinking we could do the race scene from _Grease_ and run you over in the end as a plot twist," Mimi retorted.

"Or we could do any movie that involves you being thrown over the border." The two girls stared at each other, daring the other to come up with a snappy comeback.

"This is gonna be fun," Angel murmured sarcastically as he started painting his own fingernails.

* * *

_To my doux amour,_

_From thousands of miles away in bitter and dreary France, I long for the touch of your beautiful mocha skin, to run my fingers through your hair and hold you to me and never let you go again. I want to kiss your soft lips, slide my tongue against yours, put my hands in your skirt like I had done between practices, and you know the rest. Oh, only if I was allowed back to America to be with you. We could tango throughout the night until the sun rises the next morning. It's not fair that I have to watch the sunrise and sunset while you're unable to see it with me, and not until you see it hours later. One day, I swear we will be reunited once again and free to do as we please, whether it's at Miss Porter's or in a place of our own. Maybe I'll take you to Paris and we can kiss on the Eiffel Tower with the glorious view of the city surrounding us._

_L'autre moitié de votre cœur,_

_Camille_

Joanne smiled at the long-awaited letter and hugged it to her chest. Quickly she searched for her stationary set to write her response.

_My love,_

_I would much rather be in America with you. You're the woman who made me the person I am today. As much as my parents are disgraced by it, especially when we were caught in the act years ago, I feel like I have to rebel against them. They're too much. They've already decided that I'll graduate from Harvard Law School and marry a nice boy they approve of. But I don't want that kind of life. I used to think that I was destined to dance the tango for the rest of my life, but now I think I'm meant to sing. Whenever I can escape from home and "go to the library to study for a few hours", I sing at weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, etc. I'm pretty good at it too. When I graduate from Julliard and sign a recording contract, you'll be the first person allowed in my dressing room for an "impromptu rendezvous"._

_With all of my heart,_

_Joanne_

Tomorrow she'll run down to the post office and send it from there. What was the point of sending these secret letters without the added thrill of writing and receiving them?

* * *

_Tell them or not to tell them. Tell them or not to tell them. Tell them or not to tell them..._

Collins' mind wasn't really with him during the next Friends Support meeting. To his right sat Mimi, Maureen, and Angel, as usual. To his left were Mark and Roger, who were slowly becoming engrossed with the whole concept of Friends Support. (Unsurprisingly, people were wondering if the two best friends were hiding in the closet after they first started coming to these meetings.) Right now, Angel was sharing stories about seeing his older sister again, someone who Mr. London must've known as he smiled at the tale and asked about Nicole. It was apparent that Angel was purposefully leaving out details, such as the exact place they went to - as if it wasn't obvious he'd snuck into a bar - and everything they'd done together. The looks on Mark and Roger's faces were a giveaway that they knew what Angel's hidden details were. The boy smiled and sat down.

"Thank you for sharing, Angel," Mr. London said. "I'm glad to hear about Nicole." He looked around the room. "Would anyone else like to share?" No hands went up, nor did a student stand up. Roger turned his head away from Mr. London, who had his eyes locked on Collins. "What about you?"

Collins looked around in hopes that Mr. London had meant someone else. "Me?"

"Yes, you, Thomas. You've been coming here for several meetings, but you're always quiet. Here we share our stories. What's yours?"

Collins gulped and slowly rose to his feet. "Well, in my house it's just me and my parents. They care about me and let me do what I want, only 'cause they know I'll make the right decisions, or, if I don't, at least be able to get around being arrested." He let out a nervous laugh. "It's not my home life that's a problem, or school, or friends. It's me."

Mr. London leaned forward a bit, intrigued. "What about you, Thomas, is a problem?"

"I don't know who I am anymore, that's all." Collins took a deep breath. Here came the moment of truth. "I've always grown up wondering why people always assumed I liked girls. I mean, they aren't bad people, but I'm not attracted to them. At all. So what I guess I'm trying to say is... I'm gay." Instead of the reaction Collins was certain he'd receive, his audience was silent, not even reacting to what he'd just said. Not even Mark or Roger.

"You're brave for coming out," Mr. London stated, "especially to a group of people you don't know. It's courageous, and I'm going to guess that we're the first to know."

"I was!" Maureen called out proudly.

"How'd she know first?" Mark asked, slightly hurt.

"She saw right through me," Collins admitted, shrugging it off.

"Well, I hope that when the time comes to tell your family that they'll accept you too," Mr. London continued. "If not, then just remember there's a group of people here who support you one hundred percent." He looked at the clock. "Does anyone need a bus slip?" While several students walked to the front of the room, Angel hugged Collins tight.

"I'm so proud," he said. "I didn't have the guts to do that. Mimi outed me here a couple of years ago."

Collins laughed and squeezed Angel tight. "Thanks." He let go and turned to face his two best friends. "Uh..."

"I don't care what you like, you're still my friend," Mark told him, smiling.

"Thanks, man."

Roger cleared his throat before stating, "I only have one thing to say about that."

"What?" Collins wrung his hands together, hoping Roger wouldn't get pissed off or anything.

"We're not telling Benny."

Collins grinned and hugged his two friends.


	5. Chapter 5

Angel and Collins grew a lot closer after Collins came out. To most, it was because they were both two of the only gay kids in all of Scarsdale, at least, two of the very few courageous enough to be out and proud of it. For them, it was because they both knew how the other felt with everyday life and wanted to help them through the hardships. They talked to each other about anything they had to deal with. Collins was nervous that when Benny found out he'd stop talking to him altogether, and he didn't want to lose his best friend, let alone what would happen when the news reached his parents. Angel was glad that his friends and mother and sister accepted him, but he was worried about his father's possible reaction. One afternoon, Collins and Angel walked to Angel's house to hang out after Concert Rock Band. They hid out in Angel's attic bedroom the entire time, only coming down to greet Angel's mother and sneak up some snacks.

Angel's mother was glad that Angel had a new friend; however, she'd overheard Angel and Nicole giggling over this Collins boy, the newest out teen in town. This made her worry. The last time another gay boy had been in her house... let's just say she'd heard it all. She loved Angel. That meant she didn't want him (God forbid) to get AIDS from any of these guys - who knew where they'd been before - or worse. And based on the banging around she could hear, she was certain something was going on.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Angel was currently beating Collins in an interesting game of Twister.

"Right hand... blue," Angel said. He moved his hand to an unoccupied circle with ease. He giggled at Collins' awkward position. Where Angel was in a crab stance, Collins' legs were crossed, with both of his hands crossed underneath his friend. When he tried to move his right hand, he lost balance and fell right on Angel. They laughed as they landed, Collins' arms wrapped around Angel. When they'd calmed down, they realized the awkward position they were in and Collins quickly stood up before helping Angel.

"I think Maureen's here to pick me up," he said. "She's gonna help me with this science thing..."

"Yeah," Angel said. "I'll walk you to the door." Collins grabbed his bag and they walked to the front door. They were going to hug each other goodbye before just shaking hands. Angel shut the door behind Collins and ascended the stairs back to his room. He almost made it in when he noticed a figure digging through his trash. He opened the door a little more to see his mother.

"I know I heard them doing something," he heard her grunting. He held back a gasp. His mother thought he and Collins were... he couldn't even bring himself to finish the though. How could she think they were doing that? It was sickening! They were just friends. Angel just sighed and walked back downstairs. He knew she'd never fully accepted him.

* * *

"Can you be any kind of help?" Mark asked Roger.

The songwriter played another chord. "No," he said. "I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

"Playing a song."

Mark rolled his eyes. "You've been playing the A and C chords for the past half hour. I really don't think you're doing anything important. Meanwhile, _I'm_ trying to write my new screenplay. Do you have any ideas to help contribute?"

"Hmm..." Roger stared at the ceiling before saying, "Nope, nothing."

"Thanks, asshole." Mark crumbled a piece of notebook paper and threw it in the garbage. "There goes my Films and Communication Media final grade."

"Chill, man, you'll think of something. You're the smart one."

"No, that's Collins. I'm just the Geek, remember?" From Day One, the four boys had decided their places in the group. Collins was the Smart one, Roger was the Angsty one, Mark was the Geek, and Benny was the Charmer. Roger wanted to be the Talented one, but the others wouldn't let him.

"Uh huh." Roger went back to his guitar when the door to the choir room swung open. The boys looked up to see Mimi in the room.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to bother you. I'd just forgotten my choir folder." She quickly made her way to the cabinet with the folders, right next to Roger. While she located hers, Roger was busy checking out her rear, which was sticking up in the air. Mark noticed and rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Hey, I know you," he said.

"Really now," Mimi said, going along with whatever trick Roger was gonna pull.

"You're in Friends Support, right? You're friends with Angel?" Mimi peered around the cabinet door and stared at Roger.

"Yeah," she said. "You're Collins friend, right?"

"Um, yeah. I was wondering if maybe you'd, you know, want to hang out sometime."

Mimi had a theory, just like Tey, that all boys who came to Friends Support were gay. Angel always said it wasn't true, but for the past few years, it seemed that way. So when Mark and Roger came to a meeting together, she'd automatically assumed they were together. She always saw them near each other, no matter if it was in class or out of school. To her, maybe hanging out with Roger would be the same thing as hanging out with Angel.

"Sure," she agreed with a smile. "How about tomorrow after school?"

Roger grinned. "I'll meet you outside the gym." He was taken aback when Mimi hugged him before skipping out of the room. Mark looked confused.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"Me scoring," Roger said. "Some of us got it, others don't."

Mark crumbled another piece of paper and chucked it at Roger.

* * *

At the next Friends Support meeting, Angel and Collins found themselves stuck between Maureen and Mimi, both of whom were smiling in a slightly creepy way.

"Yes, chica?" Angel asked Mimi.

"_So_, how are you guys?" Mimi giggled.

The two boys were confused.

"Anything interesting happen to you lately?" Maureen added. She tried to remain collected and let out a loud snort.

"What's going on?" Collins asked.

"We know."

"Know what, exactly?"

"That you two are a thing!" Mimi exclaimed.

"Meems, are you high?" Angel asked.

"Confess!" Maureen demanded. "We know you two are a thing."

"You're both insane."

"Girl, what the hell is wrong with you?" Collins asked.

"Angel told me what happened when you two were hanging out," Mimi explained. "Sounds like true romance to me."

"Us playing Twister and accidentally falling on each other?" Angel asked. "That doesn't mean we're running to Vegas and getting married. It was just something that happened. It meant _nothing_." He moved closer to Mimi. "Nuh-thing."

Maureen shrugged. "Whatever. I'm not buying it."

"But-"

"Just let them think what they think," Collins interrupted. "We all know there's no persuading Maureen. We know the truth, and if the don't want to, then they don't have to."

"But it's... ugh, fine." Angel crossed his arms and pouted. Collins laughed and rested his hand on Angel's leg. Suddenly, Angel didn't feel upset anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Unknown to her family, Joanne did have a job. She didn't tutor freshmen at the library, like she had told her parents. Instead, she's a wedding and Bar Mitzvah singer. In fact, she was singing at Rabbi Himmelfarb's second daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Once in a while, the oldest daughter, Nanette, came up to Joanne and brought up something from one of the classes they've had together - they'd been in the same classes since Joanne transferred from private school to Scarsdale Elementary in fifth grade - and laughing her annoyingly high and nasally guffaws. Fortunately, the reception had begun to wind down, and the only ones left were younger family members, a handful of blue-haired older women from the local synagogue, and a bunch of seventh grade girls stomping on balloons with their tiny black or white heels. Joanne thanked the band and stepped off the stage. She made her way to the bar and ordered a water. Once she received it, one of the family members slid up next to her.

"You're pretty talented," the man said. Joanne stared at him. He was no older than thirty-five, with a clean shave and piercing blue eyes.

"Thank you," she replied.

"If you don't mind me asking, what grade are you in?"

"I'm a junior, sir."

The man's jaw hit the floor. "Really? That's a damn shame." He took the toothpick out of his cup and slowly pulled off the cherries that it was stabbed through. "I'm on the administration board at Julliard, and we could use someone with a voice like yours in our school. You have this wonderful mezzo range that any girl would kill for."

Joanne blushed. "Thank you, but I don't think I'm Julliard material. I've always shot for pre-law."

"Well, how about this," the man offered. "You're probably smart enough to skip a grade, right? If you do, you could audition for Julliard next year and get in, no doubt. I'll make sure of it. You could have a real career with that voice of yours." He reached into his pocket and produced his business card. "Call me next year when you apply." With that, he walked off to congratulate the Bat Mitzvah girl.

Joanne stared at the card, dumbfounded. She was always told that she was an excellent singer, but from a man who works at Julliard? That was like Stephen Hawking calling her a genius. She never considered taking her singing into college, but now this changed everything.

* * *

Angel bit her lip as she stood between the two girls she loved more than anything, Mimi and Nicole. Had their arms not been conjoined with hers, she would've run by now. Angel had gone in public in drag, but usually she would go someplace where there were no people who could possibly recognize her. The local mall was another story. What if her father was here (she knew he wouldn't be, but she always assumed the worst). Or a gay basher from her school. Or, God-forbid, _Collins_. How would he react to her dressed as a girl? Maybe he wasn't attracted to boys who wore skirts and wigs. Most of her exes made her keep their relationship a secret for that reason alone.

Wait, why would she compare Collins to her exes? It's not like they were dating or anything.

"I can't do this," she muttered to herself repeatedly.

"Shut up," Mimi hissed. "You've gone to concerts before wearing skirts. What makes the mall different?"

"There are people I know here. People who will judge me."

"You're already in Friends Support and have been out since middle school. It'll be a shock if they haven't suspected it yet."

"Don't you worry," Nicole said. "If any of them try to start something, I'll show them how a Santiago really whoops ass." Angel had to smile at that. Nicole had always stood up for her little brother, and it was a relief to know that there was someone who would always be there.

Mimi suddenly tensed. "Hey, let's go in this store!" She steered the other two into the nearest store (the record store) and hid them in the back.

"Meems, what was that for?" Angel demanded.

"I saw Collins," Mimi answered. "And Roger and Mark were with him."

Angel's eyes widened. "What?!"

Nicole put her hands on Angel's shoulders. "Don't worry, Ang. Maybe they won't come here." As if right on cue, the three boys walked in the record store.

"Of all the stores, you chose the record store," Angel remarked while glaring at her best friend. Mimi just shrugged.

"Just look at some stacks until they leave," Nicole advised. She and Mimi started searching through the records, commenting on any they recognized from the radio. Angel sighed and moved over to the rock section. She'd gotten lost while looking at the new artists that she accidentally bumped into Collins.

"Oh, sorry," Collins said. He did a double-take. "You listen to The Beatles?"

Angel bit her lip and nodded. "The classics," she replied.

Collins smiled. "Me too. My friend is obsessed with John Lennon and acts like he's the next one, but in reality he just whines with a guitar." Angel giggled. She knew exactly who he was talking about.

"My friend's birthday is coming up, so I thought she'd appreciate a gift," Angel lied.

"Not many girls listen to good music," Collins said. "It's pretty cool."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Collins, let's go!" Roger called from across the store. "We're leaving with or without you!"

"Well, I should probably go," Collins said. "See you around." He waved goodbye as he ran out after his friends. Angel watched him go and smiled. Nicole slid up next to her and grinned.

"He's a cutie," she said. "You should go for it."

"Nicole, he's my best friend," Angel said. "I don't want to date him. That'd be awkward."

"Could've fooled me."

Angel didn't say anything else. She was too busy staring at Collins.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the restaurant across from the record store, Benny was busy making out with Alison.

"Ow!" Alison cried. "You bumped my nose!" She held the bridge of her nose and continued whining to get her point across.

"Oh, I'm sorry babe," Benny apologized. "I keep on forgetting." He put his hand on Alison's cheek. "I can't believe Mimi did that to you."

"When are you gonna dump the bitch?"

"Eventually." Benny knew he wasn't going to. It was part of the Benny charm. Anything he says, girls will believe.

"Oh, god," Alison said as she looked out the glass pane. Mimi, Angel, and Nicole were leaving the record store, laughing at the cashier hitting on Nicole.

"What?" Benny asked.

"Mimi's hanging out with the fag's sister." When Benny raised an eyebrow, Alison clarified. "Angelo Santiago."

"Oh."

"Apparently he's in that gay group. I overheard some of the girls in the locker room talk about the new kid who just came out."

Benny made a face. He didn't care that men could like other men, but he didn't want them to make it so obvious. "Who?"

"That junior anarchist, Tom Collins," Alison answered.

"Tom Collins?" Benny repeated. No way was it Collins. For as long as he'd known, Collins was straight. How could he be all of a sudden gay?

"Yeah, totally," Alison babbled. "Everyone thinks he's dating Angelo too. I wouldn't be surprised. That kid gets with every guy who likes dick, I swear."

Benny ignored her. His best friend was gay, and he seemed to be the last to know. This wasn't something he was okay with. And it definitely wasn't something Collins was going to get away with either.

* * *

"Wait, you mean you've never seen a horror film?" Collins gasped.

Angel nodded. "They freak me out. I can barely watch the trailers without cringing."

It'd been a few days since the incident at the mall. Angel was playing it off as if nothing had ever happened, while Collins hadn't realized that the girl was his best friend. However, they'd been growing closer by the day, with several inside jokes and similarities. Both had an older sibling who was in college, loved rock music, and even liked the same comic book heroes. But if you asked them if they were dating, they'd deny it right off the bat.

"So," Angel began, a devilish grin on his face, "Who was your first?"

"First what?" Collins asked.

"First guy you kissed, of course!" Angel giggled. "Mine was this guy I met last year. He was straight, but he felt bad for me, so he shoved his tongue down my throat."

Collins blushed. "Oh, um, I never kissed a guy, really."

Angel gasped. "Never? How?"

"I just came out. It's not like the first thing I planned to do was to kiss the nearest guy."

"Well I think it's kind of sweet..."

"No, it's kind of pathetic. I mean, I barely kissed a girl. What happens if I get a boyfriend and I have absolutely no idea what to do with him? I'm gonna look like an idiot!" Collins buried his face in his hands. Angel stared at him, feeling a twinge of pity for his friend.

Then he got an idea. He knew it was crazy and ridiculous. Hell, Collins would never go for it... but it was worth the shot.

"Close your eyes," Angel instructed.

"What?" Collins asked. He took his hands away from his face and raised an eyebrow.

"Just do it. Trust me."

Collins knew where this was going without Angel having to say so. He reluctantly closed his eyes and braced himself. "Okay."

"Now, just go with what I do," Angel continued. "Don't think about anything." He took a deep breath and readied himself. Slowly, he leaned toward Collins and placed his lips gently on his friend's. When Collins didn't move a muscle, Angel pulled away. "I can't help you if you're just gonna-!" Collins grabbed Angel and kissed him hard. Now Angel froze. Once the initial shock wore off, he kissed back. Angel took it a step further and let his tongue wipe across Collins' lips, begging to get past them. Collins let him. Soon they were rolling on the floor, with Angel straddling Collins and Collins' hands on Angel's hips. Neither knew how much time had passed before they decided enough was enough. Angel pulled away first and rested his forehead against Collins'.

"Whoa," Collins breathed.

Angel smirked. "And now you know what to do with your first boyfriend," he said.

Somehow, after all that, they still tried convincing themselves that they didn't love each other like that.


End file.
